Ahh. The holidays. The warmth of kith and kin. The smell of roasted poultry on the barbeque. Oh yea and the cat showing up on the doorstep with a 2 inch gash on the front of his neck, reminding me of a bad "B" movie scene. Our 18 year old cat.... We only have 3 cats, 2 dogs, and 3 hermit crabs. But I digress. This cat, which my wife has had longer than me. Had survived her first marriage and her first husband (died later..... liver failure, you can figure it out for yourself). Where was I, oh yea. Sunday, this shit always happens on the weekends, when the real vet is off doing whatever it is that veterinarians do on the weekends. Where was I, oh yea the cat . Mother in law comes in and announces. "Harley has a cut on his neck, I guess it is time for the big shot". I shit you not. I am actually editing it for believability, because what she really said was even more outrageous. My wife is at the point of tears (I hope she is this emotional when I kick it) and her mom " Bitchy McCuntlips" shoots something like that at us. Needless to say Stacey went thermonuclear on her buttocks over the comment. and I am busy just picking my jaw off the floor. Long story short:

Trip to Vet: $600.00

Mother in laws contribution after feeling guilty about comments made without thinking: $300.00

Finally able to throw back some guilt that she has flung on us since she moved in 7 years ago: Priceless

4 out of the 5 voices in my head agree that I am not schizophrenic.

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